How to communicate with a daughter -in -law: a psychologist for a novice mother -in -law

Mothers are worried about a difficult transitional period when their child marries. They are forced to adapt to a new relationship with their son and establish ties with a person who has become the most important in his life. These 25 tips of the psychologist will help to build and establish a strong relationship with the daughter -in -law.

The theme of the relationship between the mother -in -law and the daughter -in -law arises in our daily communication very often – and this is an indicator of its eternal relevance, and for both sides. The tension between the mother of the man and his chosen one is laid down at the natural level, as well as jealousy, for example. But folk wisdom says that the thin world is better than a good quarrel – and in this case it is worth taking into account this. If you wish, you can make life better – both your own and beloved son.

So is it possible to just get along with his wife? Everything is possible, but it is necessary to make efforts. Here are 25 recommendations on how to be a good mother -in -law.

1. Be open when you meet for the first time. The first impression on both sides is an important point. The key is to ignore any initial and hasty judgments that you may have. The probability that everything will go smoothly depends on what kind of person she is and whether she wants to recognize you closer. At first it can be non -obvious – your son’s wife can be shy, restrained.

2. Respect her relationship with your son, do not compete with her – and do not scold her to him. You can lose this battle.

3. Respect her relationship with her mother And don’t try to compete. Accept that her mother also wants to take care of children and their family. Better make friends – most likely you are peers and you will always find what to talk about.

4. Respect her education style, even if you disagree with him. Much has changed since you raised children, the new generation is trying to leave the stereotypes that you are used to. Deserve the trust of the daughter -in -law, playing according to its rules when you are with the children.

5. Do not leave negative comments in 99%. Restraint has not yet interfered with anyone.

6. Treat her as a daughter. Regardless of whether your daughter -in -law is the person you represented by the perfect couple for your son, it is important that you greet her in the family, try to find out her as a person.

7. Treat respect for her hobbies and work.

8. Be involved and open. The best relationships are built on trust, openness and friendly communication. If you are ready to offer support and advice without conviction, when necessary, your daughter -in -law will consider you as a person who may rely on.

9. Communicate with wisdom. Communication is important, but even more important to know what and how to say and when

silence is truly gold.

10. Remember that it takes time to build a strong relationship. Building a positive relationship is what you need to work on, no matter how you want them to bloom overnight.

eleven. Relations with the daughter -in -law will depend on many factors:
– Her own family situation,
– Your willingness to open and trust her, and vice versa,
– geographical distance between you,
– How close are you with your son.

12. Spend time with it. Invite coffee, take part in a joint event or go on an afternoon walk.

13. Sometimes involve your son in communication. Talk to your son if you think that he can help strengthen relationships. Acquaintance with a person who means so much for your adult child may seem difficult. But general attempts to build good relations will help you relax, and the daughter -in -law will receive evidence that you do not need to wait for troubles from you.

14. Accept her shortcomings and respect her opinion. No one is perfect, therefore, undoubtedly, there will be moments when the daughter -in -law will expose itself in an unfavorable light or adhere to the point of view that you do not agree. It is important not to go beyond ethics and do not try to impose your opinion.

15. Understand that you do not always need to agree. Unfortunately, the likelihood that you and your daughter -in -law agree in everything is quite small, but if you accept this fact, this will help to build a positive relationship based on love and acceptance.

16. Remember that she should also respect you. In the end, it works in both directions. Two builds a relationship, so it is important that the daughter -in -law has the same respect that she would expect in return. If this seems unlikely, and you are struggling to melt the ice, earn respect, come to it and try to solve the problem in the dialogue.

17. Recognize your own shortcomings. Self -awareness is the key to the construction and maintenance of relations of any kind, so attentive to how you behave and express yourself.

18. Avoid conflicts if possible. What should be avoided:
– Exchange of views,
– disputes on the topic of education,
-Thoughts that you will “lose” your son because of another person, because you do not feel like a part of the family, even if you make efforts,
– Unjustified expectations,
– nervousness and awkwardness on both sides.

19. Stay surviving. It is easy to get angry because they disagree with, but irritation and scandal will definitely not help. Find the time to think about what worries and what you can do about it, instead of impulsively expressing disagreement.

20. Respect the confidentiality of your son and daughter -in -law. Intervention and excessive involvement can be the same obstacle as the lack of communication in general.

21. Strengthen her trust in you as a mother -in -law. Make it clear that you are unbiased towards her and listen carefully.

22. Do not inflate conflicts. Try to get along with your daughter -in -law, even if past situations do it more difficult than you would like.

23. If a conflict has already occurred, keep a conversation politely and briefly.
– Let her know that you want to move on.
– Give her time.
– Start slowly.
– regularly communicate and maintain a connection – it is important to show that you do not care.

24. Do not forget to yourself. You should have a personal life.

25. Open your heart. Provide the new family member of your emotional support, because she is also not easy for her and, perhaps, she is also worried about how her parents of her beloved man accept her.

25 points of the perfect mother -in -law are described here. But which of us is perfect? Therefore, you should never stop internal work on yourself. And, most importantly, accept the fact that everyone has their own life and your child is time to separate from his mother. This is a new stage that will bring you a lot of new. Is it good. Everything depends on you.